Cat Noodles

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How the fuck does one make this contraption work White people aren't the best at cookin-SHIT Oh, hello! My name is Leslie Chow, and today we're learning Chinese cuisine Step one, select the perfect packet of noodles from a pile of said noodles *foreign* This one Step 2 you can.

You can put all the noodles into the pan And then we start the stirring A very important step It's very important to focus your Chi energy Look over there That's a prime cut of meat *reiteration* *unintelligible gibberish* First thing's first, we need a real knife nononoNONO This is a knife *foreign* *gibberish* Mix very well This is traditional cuisine on the mainland, I assure you For Chinese cooking, one needs rice Good quality- I say, oh dear Indian fines- No Indian rice Indian ppl diiirty *UNABLE TO PROCESS CAPTIONS DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES* And then you chuck it all away because Chinese food is subpar BE FREE.